The Man of My Dreams

Our eyes have never met.

But our souls met. 

Because distance is for us 

And not for our souls. 

Without holding my hands,

You have held my heart. 

Without leaving a space, 

You have come into my heart.

Without walking by my side,

You have been running in my mind. 

What is with this immense love between you and me.

It feels like a fairytale with you.

You are better than my dreams.

You give me more than I ask for.

You love me more than I could wish for.

Truly the man of my dreams. 

You own it all.

From now and then,

From back and forth,

You and me,

Side by side, 

Never apart,

We will be.

What if ?

This distance between us is inbearable.
With you and because of you,
I have learnt how my love for you
is so divine that it hurts me without you by my side.
The distance between you and I
The miles between you and I
Though our love is strong
it is not enough to keep you away from my mind.
My heart yearns for you.
My eyes yearn to catch a sight of you.
Love and care conveyed through text messages are inadequate.
How long more is this wait.

Not sure what I am losing but I might just keep going.
Not sure why I am not giving up and what am I holding on to. 
Not sure if it's going to worth the wait. 
Not sure if it's meant to be but if it is, not sure how long it's going to be. 
Not sure if these questions are entitled to answers today but they definitely will, 
one day.
What if one day,
We realise,
We were never meant to be together at all.
Th irony of life is bringing me far from you
from the man whom I have loved 
and always will. 

Left

My heart is at such state that,

No apology can mend the hurt,

No promise can heal the pain.

Nothing ceases the heart from bleeding.

Nothing stops the tears from rolling.

My true love entitled me to this pain,

I am left in vain.

I have stopped believing love wins anything.

Because the love I gave,

to the man who is my everything,

never really meant anything.

Sometimes,
I wake up from a dream that seems so real

till yesterday.
Sometimes,

I wish this night and this darkness never ends.

because this emptiness is rare.

Like yesterdays

With words unspoken,
feelings unexpressed,
tonight's tears would know
how much I have missed all of you.
Memories held aback,
never did I know
I won't gain them back.
Gone are the days,
when we were together
every day,
every hour,
being there for each other.
Now, I am left alone.
A brand new path is ahead
without all of you.
I am standing right here,
not wanting to step ahead
nor move on.
Would you come back,
hold my hand, never leave it
and bring me through the path
like yesterdays?

Not Again.

Not again.
Secure the heart
before pain hunts and taunts it.
Remind the mind
before it loses its hold.
If at all the feeling is transient,
the tears will come and find you anyway.
For it has been a long time,
you have ever felt for anyone.
For it is now,
you have felt for him.
It would hurt but this is the price,
the heart has to pay.

Routine Update

Hey bloggie,

It has been a little while. It's a Friday night. It's 10 o'clock and I am still awake. It would have suprised the people of my home, certainly. Yes! The pattern of my routine life has changed. Sleeping by 9 p.m. and waking up before 1 a.m. Adding a new habit to my routine, dozing off in the evenings too. STPM is just a month away. So it's the exam runs at the eleventh hour that is going on. I am pretty relaxed but of course not feeling relieved that it's finally approaching very soon coz I am gonna definitely miss studying,attending classes,writing essays and of all, going to SASTI. It's like just yesterday I enrolled into Form 6 and just in a flash, it is going to end already. It has been a great stay in SASTI. Definitely, for many reasons. And it feels like I sneezed in May 2011 and that's blown me into October 2012. And y'know like someone's hit the accelerator pedal and the days are whooshing by. 

I haven't got my exact after-STPM plans yet. Of course visiting India is a certain thing and besides that, driving license :)) AND most importantly, total make over. Shedding weight and to regain my skin colour back. Wow, looks like I've got ample things planned yea!! :D Thinking about 8 months of holidays, I can actually list out all those things I am looking forward to, which I had to give up on since I stepped into Form 6. Beaches,family vacation,big family gathering,late night conversations,watching A LOT of movies back to back,night life,baking and cooking,Saturday nights,involving in TAM activities including Telugu Camp,socializing,stage performances, and a lot more! Not forgetting the Saturday-night rule which is no longer in practice at the moment. During most of the Saturday nights, I have been staying at home, to be specific, at study table facing books. & by 7 at study table on Sunday mornings. Gotta thank God, I still stick to blogging despite the studious routine. Gotta love this routine though coz' it takes the right attitude to make it happen & it brings me a step closer to my aims and ambitions. :):) 

So, that is a bit for now. Good night, bloggie. Muah :)

Facebook Post

Hello! This is something that I found in Facebook which I thought I should share on my blog as well.  It's worth reading! To whoever wrote this, kudos!


Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried… your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mum got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. Copy and paste this as your status to show people there are people out there that care. Yes, I definitely care. ♥