My Imperfectness

My imperfectness

Sunday, 08.04.2012

Darkness between four walls. 

Mere silence. 

Only me
and tears as companion. 

I wish to be invisible. 

I wish to run away from here, 

far from here 

to a place where there is no one.
or I'll just plummet to my death. 

It's impossible. 

I dislike the mirror.

For it reflects the person I dislike

Me.  

I always loved myself 

yet in what darkness, 

what dense ignorance, 

was this mental battle fought. 

Every nerve I'd feared my imperfectness 

and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank 

when they point it out. 

I'm fine this way, I say 

but deep at heart, I am not.

My racked nerves were now in such state that,

no calm could soothe and

no pleasure excite them.

Do not blame me for not being myself. 

I will repent.